Akikan! – Pull Tab Foreplay

THISCANTHISCANTHISCANTHISCANTHISCANTHISCAN

Okay, let me get this straight. I’m not watching Akikan just because the novel illustrations were drawn by former Navel artist Suzuhira Hiro, nor do I watch it because it had a so-so plot that consists of some watered-down, Kinoko Nasu-type Grail War chock full of fucked up mentality, sexual innuendos, amorous vibes, and antics reeking of HARD GAY. No, no, I don’t watch it for those reasons. If there’s going to be a reason, it’s only just one: take the pull tab, swallow it, choke to death, and see how deep the rabbit hole goes. No success so far, though.

So, what’s this post about Akikan!? As far as the series is concerned, it was quite the interest back then. Everyone I know that watched it told me that the quality sucked, and they still planned to continue regardless of possible eye bleaching. After seeing PIG DISGUSTING art quality, and carbon-toasted naked men, I was like “Okay, this’ll suck. Let’s see how low it’ll go.” And it didn’t disappoint on that part. Not even one bit.

This doesn’t go as far as any randomly stupid title (like Project A-KO, but that one’s cool by my standards). The shallowness that is the trademark of other titles is present, and much worse. Who would want a story concerning canned goods turning into cute girls, who then kill each other in some kind of economic civil war for the sake of cutting national costs, with topsy-turvy transformations, carbonated magic, witchcraft, gigolos, and gay gladiatorial administrators to prove a point? You go to a vending machine, pop in some coins, a can comes out, and if you’re lucky enough, you’ll be chosen as an Owner for the Akikan Elect and get an Akikan in exchange for a little smooch (unless it’s your treasured first kiss, then it’s going to be stolen from you one way or another, so don’t bother treasuring it)! Congratulations! Now you have more reason to serve the country’s economy by forcing yourself to buy carbonated drinks for your Akikan while fighting for your life! And you thought there wasn’t any MANA TRANSFER?! HA HA!!

MAGIC.

However, these aren’t the defining factors of the title. In fact, I don’t find any defining factors at all! The series, like the economically-themed plot it was, tried to let you deduce it to what seems to be a battle where preference exceeds superiority. They cast aside quality to present it in all its ecchi glory. They go as far as to make scenes and storylines juicy enough for you to buy it as a plausible means of interest. They go unrestricted on sexual innuendos and lesbian/gay preferences since they think this would make the story a bit more interesting. Just like deficit spending, they borrow different factors from different titles, and see if this stimulates people into watching the series.

IT’S SHOWTIME~!

Unfortunately, it failed. All of it failed. FAILED, big time, with CAPS for CRUISE CONTROL. It’s like watching a porn movie that has foreplay but no actual intercourse. Of course, that’s almost the same as not watching said porn movie at all. Most of us would expect something along the standards of Akamatsu, or Nasu, knowing that it has perverted implications, but it just didn’t make it to the cut. Sure, there were innuendos, but these weren’t enough to prove that said innuendos were effective enough. Sure, there were sexy epidodes of cosplay and swimsuits, but these weren’t convincing enough to say that the series has ecchi inclinations. In short, Akikan! is summarized as some sort of pull tab foreplay. If the Japanese government in Akikan! was serious about the whole plot, the Moonland’s going to be fucked up with poverty.

Poor Shiruko-chan didn’t even make it. How horrible…

However, most of us are still dismissing the fact that it’s still got some spunk left. I’m convincing myself that Akikan! won’t even need the dirty tactics just to prove that it’s good and unique from the others (even though I can’t really shrug the fact that the animu art is still PIG DISGUSTING). It tried to stay clean while trying to deliver the light-hearted parts of a usually grim-ended story. Ecchiness is a turning factor, but it doesn’t need to turn the series drastically into some sort of smörgåsbord (like it did on the animu, where everything went haywire on the last two episodes). So no matter how low it’s going to sink, it’s got a chance to redeem itself. We’ll just have to see if it’ll offer something good enough on the OVA, before it inevitably sinks into oblivion. Hopefully, this’ll overshadow the hidden HARD GAY that’s lurking around the corner.

Then again, here come the Spring titles…